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30 May	I hope you get this one day	**
	Frontpage, my web publishing software of choice, is giving me grief. I've tried to publish updates without success every night for the past three nights. If tonight's effort's don't work, I'll print  tomorrow's entry and put it inside a bottle. Then, I'll go to the highest point of the Gateway Bridge and throw it off. Maybe you'll get to read something eventually! My head is aching because I've been typing for 8 hours + and now this flippin' 'puter is making me mad. But I'm over that topic. Let's move on. It's only a couple of weeks until first semester is over. It's only 8 weeks until this temp assignment is over and I become a full-time student. Wow. I said to DH that I had not allowed myself to become excited about it. I don't want to get excited about it until it happens. I do wonder if it is going to happen,... and how. I'm such a dreamer that I imagine how things are going to be in extreme detail. When something finally comes along, I'm disappointed that it doesn't match what I've dreamed up. That is not to say that my life is a big disappointment, far from it. It's just that I'm going some place I've never been before. It's scary. It's exciting. But, it's also a dream I've had since I was 12 years old (or even younger). I remember standing in the front of my Church in Kyogle and telling the Pastor that I wanted to be a Journalist. He prayed for me and spoke in a prophecy that my writing would touch people, but that he believed it would be through my poetry. Poetry is creative and artistic. I've been criticised in the past for writing naive simplistic poetry. Perhaps I'm a bit afraid of opening myself up to criticism and rejection again with poetry. (I'd rather write my VERY PERSONAL DIARY on-line. How sick is that???) Back to the point,... in about eight weeks, I'll be studying four subjects, full-time. That will be a challenge for an anal mature-age student such as myself,.... an unfamiliar path. Say a prayer for me.	Places I've never been before: "I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them. Isaiah 42:16 (NIV Bible)
28 May	A song,...	**
Back to top	How lovely on the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news good news announcing peace proclaiming news of happiness Our God reigns Our God reigns,....
27 May	News in Brief
Back to top	Life sometimes gets in the way of a good online journal. Sorry I've neglected you all this week. These are a few highlights of my crazy week: Gordon got evicted (yay) and my "Top 5 Big Brother Contestants" list was way out of date so I've done a new one. You can see the old one on my Top 5 page. The good thing about the outspoken characters being evicted, is that it gives the quieter, shyer types to shine. I'm afraid that Christina will be nominated again - I can see a little clique forming in 'the house' and Christina and Peter are on the outside. I've discovered my favourite typo,... it's when you mean to type 'due' but you actually type 'dude'. Sweet. I received a new program for the Astor Theatre which made me 'Melbourne-sick'. )-: The old RSI in my right wrist/arm has been haunting me lately. That's the problem with data entry jobs, huh? There's a newsagent in Ascot, Brisbane, called "Toorak Newsagency". They sound like a bunch of wannabe's that couldn't afford a Toorak Road address! I heard a cool quote the other day - "that hasn't been touched since Jesus played full-back for Jerusalem".	The Astor is a cool old movie theatre in Melbourne. It's beauty is unsurpassed. It was built in the 30's and has been a cinema, a church and a community hall.
21 May	The suction of Reality TV	***
Back to top	I can not believe that I'm sitting here with Real Player streaming Big Brother onto my monitor. I've just watched Gordon return from his shower. He had a towel around his waist and he took his undies out of his bag. He slid his undies up under his towel and then dropped the towel. Discreet. Modest. Maybe I won't vote Gordon off just yet. I still contend that he is one of the most annoying males. I can't believe I have an opinion on this. Just like I can't believe I have an opinion on Formula 1 and V8 Racing. What is going on here? My fear is that all the remotely interesting people on the show will be voted out bright and early on and we'll be left with a couple of boring twats all vying it out for the money. I think I want to go to Dreamworld for an eviction. As I type, I can see Sarah-Marie lying in bed contemplating life. They even just followed her, complete with G-String wearing bum shot, into the bathroom to take a crap and I got a birds eye view of the match lighting ceremony afterwards. Now I'm watching Christina blow her nose. Hmm. Gripping TV. So why is there some compulsion about this? I mean, we're watching Sarah-Marie watching Christina put her make up on. Nothing is being said. Very boring, really. I wish I was a thin as Christina is. [sigh] She's definitely my favourite on Big Brother.	Match Lighting Ceremony - When a member of 'The House' does a stinky poo, they have to light a match in the toilet to clear the air.
19 May	Big Brother is watching you	***
Back to top	To date, I've been able to live life without Reality TV of any sort. But I do consider myself a channel 10 Devotee, and lately I've been getting sucked in by Big Brother. I've watched a bit on-line,... I've caved in to Reality TV. Tonight it's 11:35pm and one of the guys is talking about some personal stuff. He's saying f*** or c*** every second word so that Channel 10 won't use the story on TV. Even if Channel 10 wanted to use the story, there would be so many beeps that you could hardly hear what he's saying. Pity he forgot it was being broadcast on the web,... Hmmm... The story just moved on to drugs, coke and smack and the web-cam just swapped rooms. Gee, I wonder why. Well, I guess he's no fool. It's obviously an attempt to get the cameras out of their loungeroom for a while. I feel incredibly voyeuristic - like I am on a bus and listening to someone behind me talking because I can't not listen. This leads me to question the ethics of watching this show. I guess if Channel 10 thinks it's alright to broadcast, it must be OK to watch. Hmmm. It's a bit like pornography. A bunch of people whoring themselves out - but they know they're doing it. Even so, it's not necessarily OK.	Big Brother - 12 people in one house for 12 weeks. Each week, one person is evicted. Their every move is filmed. Check out the three web-cams - you have to register to use them.
17 May	What is it about Harrod's tote bags?	***
Back to top	A woman's work is never done. There's cleaning, laundry, dishes, dinner, e-mail, web-site. Blah, blah, blah. I'm spent. I've used all my creativity writing well overdue e-mails tonight. All my old buddies in Melbourne were neglected and I had to do something about it. It's not like me to neglect such wonderful people. You'll see that I rearranged the layout,....again. Sorry to stuff you about. It was annoying me. It was too much work to have a lead paragraph on one page, and then the rest of the story on another page. It was high maintenance. I don't have time for that!  Working in the CBD is a bit of a novelty for me at the moment. I often stop to look in the shops on the way home from work. They're all open late. Anyway, one thing that is really annoying me is Harrod's bags. All these women on the train carry little plastic Harrod's tote bags like some kind of status symbol. It says "I've been to London, but all I could afford at Harrod's was this little plastic lunch bag".  All the wannabes buy perfume at trendy boutiques and stick their sarnies in little paper tote bags. It says "I'm sorry. I couldn't afford to go to London, so I bought myself some yuppy perfume just so I could put my sandwiches in the bag." I'm supposed to be dressing in corporate attire for work. Stockings, suits, closed in shoes,... it's beginning to get to me. Apart from the fact that it's too hot to wear a jacket in Brisbane, I just feel completely uncomfortable in stockings. Why is image so important? Why can't I wear jeans and a T-shirt and joggers? If image is so important then I don't want any part of the corporate world. Yeah. I know we've already had the discussion about career advice - ie. encouraging people to enter the capitalist world that I'm striving to get out of. The corporate world is just the slightly glamorous representation of the capitalist world. I don't wanna know about that either. I don't want to make a lot of money - just a living.
14 May	Nggggghhhh.	*
Back to top	Nggggghhhh. I don't like this new layout. It's not going to last much longer. I can just see that I'm going to change it all over as soon as I get the chance. Sorry to stuff you all around, but I HATE the new layout. I've been busy having a nervous breakdown lately. I'm sure it will all be over soon and everything will get back to normal. Speaking of getting back to normal, work was OK today. They helped me out with priorities etc. I don't feel so bad now. I feel a lot happier.
9 May	Who stole my time?	*
Back to top	I don't know who did it,... but some bastard has flogged off with all my time! As soon as I find out who, I'm gonna beat the crap out of 'em. One minute I'm going along just fine,... the next minute I've got 25 unread e-mails and a bunch of month old unreplied ones. I nearly had a nervous breakdown last night over the whole time thing. Somebody stole last weekend, somebody intends to steal this weekend,... even with a bunch of long weekends, I still don't feel like I've achieved anything lately. I mean, who ever has enough time? Nikol's been over this before,... She was right. [sigh] On another note,.... 45 hits. I'm impressed. Keep coming back dudes, and I'll keep coming up with the goods. Yeah.
8 May	Work makes me disillusioned	**
Back to top	Lately I've been disillusioned with my career aspirations. My degree has an elective stream and I can't decide what to do with it. For about 6 months (maybe longer) I've been thinking about doing Personnel Management. But lately, the idea of writing / researching career advice articles and features leaves me cold. How can I advise someone to enter into a harsh capitalist work environment that I've been doing my best to escape. I think businesses should be financially focused on making a living. Most of them are focused on making a killing. It's a Godly principle not to take or store up more than you need for today. When I start my business it will be for lifestyle reasons - not financial ones. The workplace can be a cruel and heartless place. How can I make it my life's work to assist people to get into it?? Perhaps I'd be better writing articles telling them how to cope with it,... Maybe that statement has answered my questions about my elective stream??? Maybe.
7 May	A moment of silence	No stars
Back to top	Let us observe a one entry silence for Mr Dick Blow who died in a bizarre tricycling accident while chasing Steve Buscemi across a busy highway. R.I.P. no more ):	A black day for Destination Digest
6 May	I love being a lackey	*****
Back to top	When I watched American Beauty I instantly wanted to go and get a job at [insert fast food franchise here]. I felt that work, although I once enjoyed it, was now nearly killing me. I'm not much at hiding my emotions, so I'm sure plenty of people around the office knew how I felt. I even applied for a crappy low level office admin job. The interviewer saw right through me and told me I was over qualified. Is there no justice in this world? So,... having moved across the company and registered with a temp agency, I have now scored the joe job I've been dreaming of. I'm a data entry operator and the office lackey. I don't know anything 'cause I'm just a temp. I don't have to make decisions, 'cause I'm just a temp. Nobody trusts me to do anything difficult or take any responsibility, 'cause I'm just a temp. I love being a temp. This is my American Beauty experience. I think I'll take up exercising,... dunno 'bout the drugs. I think double espresso is hard core enough for me. If you ask me how I am today, I'll tell you the truth,... I'm great.	The Lackey Tension: Be just good enough to be useful, but just bad enough to avoid responsibility.
4 May	There's a little Scrooge in everyone	*
Back to top	Buying presents is one of the most difficult and depressing shopping tasks (exceeded only by clothes shopping). It costs enough to be concerning. This may sound tight-arse but when you add: 8 x Easter Gifts 3 x Birthday Gifts 2 x Wedding Gifts 2 x Mothers Day Gifts at $25-30 a pop - more for weddings, less for Easter - it soon becomes a burden. I feel like scrooge, but I also need to curb my spending (read: repay my credit card bill) somehow. So,... at the risk of sounding like an arse, I've cut my present budget back from $25-30 to $15-20. It'll hurt me more than my gift recipients because I'll waste precious time scrounging around the shops searching for something that looks worth more than it actually is. I may be a scrooge, but I don't want to appear stingy. There's irony somewhere in this topic. I mean, when we moved house a month ago we took at least two full car loads of 'junk' to the Salvation Army Op Shop. Unless it is an inspired gift, the op shop is the eventual fate of all $15-20 and $25-30 gifts. It's small consolation though. I still feel like a tight-arse.	That's somewhere between $375 and $450 in a period of about 6 weeks - 4 of which I was unemployed. Urk.
2 May	The sensuality of the pen	***
Back to top	Mmm,...someone elses pen. [sigh] The sensuality of stolen ink. What a turn-on. I'm feeling guilty. I'm giving the pen back as soon as I finish this sentence. The pen,... I am not the kind of writer that can compose directly into the computer. I do a lot of typing in my day job and my speed is well over 70 words per minute.  By trying to compose directly into a word processor, I get stilted and stressed. My creative left brain can not cope with the speed. But my critical right brain is bored as soon as I've hit the key. The result? Writer's Block. The white screen of death. When I use a pen, my left brain can wander along at its own leisure, crafting what ever the hell it pleases while my right brain is busily telling my hand how to the form alphbetic characters. It's based on a proven theory of distracting the critic for long enough so that the artist can finish its work.	I picked up a book in a $5 bin called "Writing on both sides of the brain" by Kenriette Anne Klauser. This book cites plenty of scientific research to prove the whole left brain / right brain dynamic thing.
1 May	Destination Digest Overhauled	*****
Back to top	A redesigned more logical version of Destination Digest was launched today by Editor Anna Harris. Now that I am a hot-shot Journalist, there are going to be a few changes around here. I'm half way through my first journalism subject and I've solved all the world's problems. Oh well,... maybe not. But I am rearranging my web-site. In homage to all the great news stories of our time, every Destination Digest entry will now have a headline and an intro par. This is also a homage to on-line journals at Diaryland, where every entry has a name. I think I'll still group all the entries for each month in the one HTML document. It makes for quicker downloads and navigation (compared to other online journals). There will be an intro screen with all the headlines and intro pars for - maybe - the newest 10 entries. It's gonna be great. There will be a copyright notice added to the border. I don't want any of you stealing my precious life. And,...there will be a top 5. You'll also have the opportunity to e-mail me comments about the 5, submit your own top 5 or suggest subjects for future top 5's. Alli, as my number 1 fan, I expect yours on my desk by 9:00am Monday. Click around - taste the difference.