July 2001

31 July - Three days to go
29 July - Urgh
28 July - You suck at this drinking game
24 July - The joy of e-mail lists
22 July - Abzorb Shocknology
17 July - A Cool (Drinking?) Game
16 July - Congratulations Benny Boy!
14 July - 'Appy Bastille Day
12 July - Good Gracious, Gracious God
10 July - In the pursuit of a dream
8 July - Ouch
7 July - I'm pumped
6 July - Sailing stories
5 July - Resignation
4 July - They're screwing with my mind
3 July - Finished, at last
2 July - The poet's pain
1 July - Happy New Financial Year!

You're vaulting with Aussie pole vaulter, Dmitri Markov.

Three days to go

**

Tuesday, 31 July 8:00am

Three short but long days, two of which will be spent sharing my tiny desk, sharing my computer, sharing my vast knowledge, with a slow scared newbie.

Can I just make the following observation? Data-entry doesn't really suit computer sharing. I think there's something about TYPING ALL DAY that doesn't lend itself to computer sharing. I spent all day yesterday staring at the walls going slightly mental. (NB: The footnote to this sentence is that the girls in the office later said I was a picture of tranquillity and handled the situation as if I was an expert computer trainer. Schyeah, right.)

I know the fact that I'm being unproductive is not my problem. I am, after all, the temp. I still don't have to care.  But sheesh,... talk about annoying. It's not like they stop handing the work over. They still keep piling it up - while Missy here types at the speed of a one handed child and I sit behind her going "Click here, type surname, click there, no there, type first name."

Aaarrrgggghhhhh.

I am the data entry f***ing Master. I have no time for these novices, these wannabes, these one-handed babes struggling to find qwerty.

Go home to your mummies! Go back to school! Go see Sarina-See-You-At-The-Top-Russo and learn a thing or two.

Don't waste my $15.50 an hour (charged out to clients at a hefty $26 an hour,... wish I saw some-o-that!) time with this K-rap.

The Master has spoken.

Thank you Snoopy, Master Author. You inspire me. You complete me.

What a dog you are.

I bet you get all the bones.

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Urgh.

*

Sunday, 29 July

Perhaps having my very own Snoopy the Author, Master of Diguise, will bring me literary inspiration.

Urgh.

Some days just make you blue.

Nothing to say.

Sorry.

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You suck at this here drinking game

**

Saturday, 28 July

OK. So you couldn't guess the song lyrics. I quoted the more obscure lyrics of the second verse. So, in order to help you out a little, I'm going to quote the slightly easier lyrics from the first verse:

"You've gotta speed it up
and then  you've gotta slow it down
cause If you  believe that our love can hit the top
you gotta stay around
until you will find
that there comes a time for,..."

Any ideas? E-mail me.

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The joy of e-mail lists

*

Tuesday, 24 July

Do forgive me for not publishing as often as I should. Life has been a myriad of distractions lately. What with the four episodes of Men Behaving Badly last night and the body corporate AGM tonight, life has just been a regular Tropfest.

I was just wondering, on the train this morning as I chugged into work, what young Jesse Martin is up to. So I checked out his web-site and he's planning a new trip. He's even given it a fancy title,... the journey of Kijana. Wooh. 

You can even subscribe to Jesse's e-mail list. I'm tempted, but hesitant. Have you ever noticed how being on e-mail lists is really exciting at first,... you devour every lovely e-mail with unbridled pleasure.

Then, you're a bit busy one day and you just create a folder and transfer the e-mails there so you can read them later. This creates a job for you to go and read them all and it starts to feel like work. 

Before you know it, you've begun to associate it with spam and you start deleting them before you've even read them. Pretty soon you're despising them. You remove  yourself from the e-mail list and put a filter on all associated e-mail addresses. Isn't it sad how something that was once a cool and friendly thing, has become your enemy?

Technology is not your friend, people. Your brain can not cope with all the information that technology can feed you. Go live on a farm or sail around the world solo. Read all about it at www.jessemartin.net.

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Abzorb Shocknology - The shock stops here.

****

Sunday, 22 July

I have just bought the coolest shoes. They come complete with shock absorbers - just like race cars. Hmmm. Does this mean I'll be able to run faster? Probably. I usually get shin pain when I run, apparently caused by the muscle pulling away from the bone,... 

Anyway, I bought these extra shock absorbent shoes in the hope that I'll actually be able to run / jog / walk for a while longer. Anything is better than nothing.

Have you got Abzorb Shocknology? Like the guy on the Monroes  ad says, "Check tyres, brakes AND shock absorbers".

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A Cool (Drinking?) Game,...

**

Monday, 17 July 

DH created a cool game the other night. I think it would be fun to play over a few beers,... or even online.

You quote some lyrics from any old song, or any new song. (SPEAK THEM, DON'T SING THEM) To make the game remotely challenging, don't use the chorus of a song or any line that contains the song title. You can make it really difficult by quoting completely obscure or old song lyrics, or easy by using popular songs.

The other player / players job is to guess what the song title is and / or who sang it. It's cool to remember old favourites, or to actually hear what the words to are.  It's also cool to look for clues in the lyrics of songs that you may not know word for word (Refer to the example below - I'll elaborate another day, after you've all tried it.)

Warning: There is a slight risk that you'll discover you've been singing the wrong words to your favourite song for years. A classic example that I know of, is a silly friend of ours who sang "I wanna be a dog,  you are dog meat" when referring to "I wanna be adored" by the Stone Roses.

Let's give it a shot:

"Try to look as if you don't care less
but if you want to see some more
then in the rules of the game we'll let you find the one you're looking for
and then you can show that you think you know
you're..."

E-mail me and let me know what the song is or who sang it,... and I'll let you know if you got it right.

PS: The mind screwing is continuing - I'm still working on last financial year's stuff. How depressing. )-:

• Pass the pigs
• Taboo
• Pictionary - although it gets un-fun pretty quickly
• Baulderdash
• The Dawson's Creek Drinking Game ie. Dawson looks dark and brooding, you chug a beer. Joey looks pouty, you chug a beer. Pacey does some bonehead act, you chug a beer. Jen contemplates doing something slutty, you chug a beer. Get the general idea?
• Any other TV Show-related drinking game?
• How about a sports-related drinking game, ie. your team scores, you chug a beer. The other team scores, you chug two.
• Porno Boggle
• Porno Scrabble
• Lager League (This is a bizarre mix of soccer and beer drinking played by people who want to play soccer but can't bear to part with their beloved pint o' lager. Works better with beer in plastic receptacles.)
• I'm out of ideas now,...

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Congratulations Benny Boy (aka Thank God, I've got my life back!)

****

16 July 2001

Yes, big blokey Ben Williams has taken out line honours in Australia's first ever "Big Brother" series. I must admit to being a swinging voter at the end there,... after my beloved Christina and Sarah-Marie were gone, I was lost. I voted Ben out one night, but by the next evening I'd changed to Blair. I really didn't care who won after Sarah-Marie was gone.

And just when I thought I was going to get my life back, Channel Ten is featuring the girls of Big Brother up against Stan Zemanek on Thursday night. How can I miss that?

Anyway, it's all over now and I can go back to having my opinion that television is a complete time-suckage device designed to make our buttocks larger. The only two other slightly more time sucking things I know are sleep and the internet. 

Parents, send your kids to bed before they get square eyes and thunder thighs!!!!

I promise not to talk about Big Brother for ages. We're all 'over' the topic now,... aren't we??? The Big Brother link is now coming off the DD Portal.

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'Appy Bastille Day

***

Saturday, 14 July

I think it's Bastille Day,... although I'm not 100% percent sure. It's been a good ten years since I was the number 1 French student at Kyogle High School. My old buddy Jan will know, and I bet she's having a feast of delicious patisseries as I write.

Bonjour my little broccoli spear! Save a Tarte au Citron for me, my little lemon tart.

Check out this passage from Home Beautiful:

"FAST CLIP: Planning to reupholster your favourite armchair, or put up some new curtains? Keep fabric swatches together with a stylish clip. This one, actually a bookmark, is a junkshop find but you could use a wooden peg or a bulldog clip to keep things in order. hb"

- from Home Beautiful Magazine's November 2000 issue.

Who would have thought? A bulldog clip to hold a bunch of fabric swatches together. Is this what I'm studying for? Is this why I'm giving up full-time employment? To learn how to make pesky dumb statements like that?

[Uh-oh. Sudden moment of realisation - "pesky", "dumb", sheesh, I better watch myself! Here I am criticising someone else's writing for being pesky and dumb, when I'm the one publishing my diary, online, for the whole world to see.

The guy who works in the desk beside me at work thinks people who put their diaries online are stupid - only surpassed by Sarah-Marie's shameless skinny dipping and St Kilda's ongoing poor performance. {He doesn't know I have an online diary and I ain't gonna tell him - although it would be funny to watch him try and dig himself out of that hole. heheheh}

I better shut-up now.]

'Appy Bastille Day,...my little champignon.

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Good Gracious, Gracious God

*****

Thursday, 12 July

I can not emphasise enough, the sheer wonder and grace of God. He is so eager to forgive, so quick to move in compassion - all you need to do is trust. Believe in Him.

Even King David, ancestor of Jesus Christ and a man said to be "after God's own heart", was no stranger to God's mercy and grace.

King David slept with another man's wife. Then, as if that wasn't enough, he had the woman's husband sent to the frontline of battle where he surely would be killed. King David may as well have killed the man himself.... And yet God forgave him, because David had a "broken and contrite heart".

I've been experiencing God's grace and mercy in my life lately. I'm going to put this Psalm up on my toilet wall - it's the words to a song King David wrote after realising what a terrible thing he'd done by sleeping with Bathsheba and then killing her husband.

Psalm 51

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.
Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;
you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity.

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grants me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.
Save me from bloodguilt, O God, the God who saves me, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise.
You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.

In your good pleasure make Zion prosper;
build up the walls of Jerusalem.
Then there will be righteous sacrifices,
whole burnt offerings to delight you;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.

The symbolism of this Psalm will mean different things to different people. To me, it represents the wonderful forgiveness given to me when I realised what I had been doing to my body. My body,... the temple of the Holy Spirit, is gradually being damaged by the way I treat it.

I have the wrong attitude towards food and it has become an idol in my life. This realisation breaks my heart. What have I done?

Want to apply for a casual job at QUT Library? I do.

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Tuesday, 10 July

**

"In the pursuit of a dream,..."

They are the words of a song which dances around my memory. It's by a guy named Michael W. Smith. It's nearly my time to pursue a dream and face my fears. I don't want to look back with regret - I've spent the past 10 years doing that.

It's no wonder I didn't want to go to my High School 10 year reunion. I had nothing to show for the first 10 years of my life since high school, nothing to be proud of. Who ever aspired to be an Admin Officer? A Data-Entry Clerk? They're hardly the stuff of dreams.

I dreamed of writing, or of being a hotshot journalist. The more I know of myself, the less convinced I am that I'm suited to be a journalist. I don't have the ego and/or extroverted qualities required to get a 'scoop'. BUT, I am becoming more and more convinced of my ability to write about people, and my ability to get inside their heads.

Hmmmm. Having said that, I guess you call getting inside someone's head a 'scoop'. It would definitely be an 'exclusive'.

I've been getting back into reading zines again. I've been taking mine to work and reading them on the train. I feel so damn cool when I'm sitting on the train reading a zine. It's a darn site cooler than all those yuppy corporate lemmings with their 'Harrods' bags and overpowering perfume.

PS: Don't forget to watch Rove tonight. Christina's on!

Cool.

Cool like Fonzie, and Cookie Monster, and Lenny Kravitz, and John Disco, and Natasha Stott Despoya, and David Wenham (God, I love redheads!), and St Kilda, and purple, and Doc Martens, and Jesus.

Jesus was (is) way cool.

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Sunday, 8 July

*

Ouch,...

My muscles are soooooooo sore after yesterday's footballing adventures. My heart is sore too, after St Kilda's agonising defeat by the Brisbane Lions. I expected a 50 point split, dreamed of a 30 point split and dreaded a 60+ split. I got my worse nightmare.

I think one star is generous, and I'm probably only giving that because I can sleep in and don't have to go to work today.

PS: If you've just logged on and thought 'I was here yesterday and the last entry was some time in June' then don't panic. I've just published a week worth of writing that I didn't get time to upload until today. You're not going crazy.

PPS: Sorry, I have not had a chance to comment on this, the closest Big Brother vote ever. With Christina, Sara-Marie and Ben all up for nomination, it is pretty difficult to pick.

As usual, I'm choosing to go with my least favourite of the three - Ben. I suspect a few things:

1. Sara-Marie is a crowd favourite, and

2. Christina is so quiet, innoffensive and lovely that she won't be voted out again,...

I think people will feel more emotion towards Ben and consequently he'll be voted out.

Last time I checked out the Big Brother web-site, the percentages were pretty close. 41% / 31% / 28%. Hmmm. I wonder who will go?

Vote Ben out by calling 1902 555 010

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Saturday, 7 July

****

I'm pumped,...

I've just been to a Women's AFL Workshop and I'm pumped. It was ACE! Excellent fun. It may even be the impetus for me to be more sporty.

During the week I really agonised over whether to go to the workshop or not. I was concerned about my fitness level (or lack thereof) and didn't want to be embarrassed. Other excuses going through my mind were we're so busy and therefore I might not have time to do X Y and Z.

Arguments for the other side,, ie. going to the workshop weighed heavily on my mind too. I mean, this is a really rare opportunity. It's free and I knew I'd regret it if I didn't go.

So anyway, I went, I kicked, I handballed, I marked, I conquered. (Barry would be proud.) The women were of all shapes, sizes and fitness levels with ages ranging from 15 to well, a Grandmother. I guess she could be mid-fifties.

The staff from AFL Queensland were great. They took us through all the skills and then we had a 30 minute game. It was nine a side with slightly modified rules including three second tags instead of tackles, and thirds instead of quarters.

Our team performed with all the gusto of the legendary St Kilda Saints. We were ahead by seven points at the 2/3 changeover. By final time we were about seven  behind - just like the Saints.

There is currently a women's competition with four teams running. There are plans for a nine a side womens Friday night social comp at Coorparoo. I think that sounds like fun. I can hardly wait.

As a diabetic / PCOS sufferer, I have lost a lot of confidence in my body and how it performs. For some reason, doing warm-ups and drills and playing an AFL game showed me that my body actually works. I've often been guilty of choosing mental tasks over physical tasks because I don't trust my body. Undertaking some kind of regular sporting activity would certainly do me good. Today's effort made me see my body in action.

Usually, I get shin splints when I run. I didn't get them today, probably because of the soft grass underfoot.

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Friday, 6 July

***

Sailing stories,...

I've just been reading Lionheart - the Jesse Martin story, and it seems everything has a sailing metaphor lately.

There's the "If you want to walk on water you have to get out of the boat" book that I recently finished reading. I also saw a sign that said "You can not discover new oceans until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore".

What really impressed me about Jesse Martin's story was its step-by-step unfolding. Although it took some of the mystery away from dreams, it showed some of the romance and reward of determination and hard work.

Jesse implies a faith in God through his story, although he never comes right out and says it. I don't want to make that mistake in my writing - it has to come right out and say that I believe in God. I hope that is one thing you will take away from reading this web-site. I also hope that you will see that God can not be put into small religious boxes - He is greater, wiser, kinder, funnier and cooler than all of that.

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Thursday, 5 July

*

Resignation,...

I like the idea of a one word title. It reminds me of the movie 'Clerks' written by Kevin Smith. He used one word sub-titles here and there in the movie with great success. I loved that flick.

I have resigned myself to the relentless on-going pile of crap that I will be required to enter in as part of my job. As much as I would like to think it would pause for a day or two at the end of the financial year, it is not the case. I will merely continue to plug away at that keyboard 8 hours a day until the end of July.

What a sucky job. If this were a permanent position, I'd be so outta here! Who wants to type as fast as they possibly can non-stop for 8 hours a day? The answer is no-one.

I don't want RSI.

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Wednesday, 4 July

*

They're screwing with my mind,...

Just when I thought I'd finished all of that bloody data entry for the 2000/2001 financial year, they showed up with a pile more. When I say a pile, I mean four or five days work.

[sigh]

They're screwing with my mind.

Bastards.

PS: Greetings to our American Visitors, Happy Independence Day and all that. Have some apple pie for me! Mmmm Apple Pie.

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Tuesday, 3 July

****

Finished, at last

I have, at long last, finished entering last years Accounts Payable invoices at work. I was contemplating work on a huge pile of last years journals when someone else in the office offered to start work on them for me. It was an unexpected blessing and I'm chuffed.

Other good news today includes a couple of small victories on the food front. I managed to have a healthy breakfast and a healthy lunch. Usually one or the other fails so I'm pleased to have succeeded with both. I won't be disappointed if I have some lollies or something later on because it's the majority of what you eat that counts - except with fat where a little goes a long way!

I took a look at Seek.com this morning. I wanted to see what permanent part-time jobs were available. I was pleasantly surprised to see about 10 - 15 jobs that were suitable. It made me feel more at ease about the coming few months. I'm sure that if I looked in Saturday's paper there would be plenty of jobs there too. The over-riding message is that I don't need to worry.

[Not that I ever need to worry, but my fragile security-seeking emotions need to feel safe, otherwise they drive me mental.]

Also, I think I have managed to find a lip stick shade that kinda suits me, ie. I don't quite look like I've been punched in the mouth.

I am having a great day today. As Kevin Spacey said in American Beauty "Today is a good day".

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Monday, 2 July

**

The Poet's Pain

There is something about turmoil and hatred that gets my creative juices simmering. I'm reminded of a line in a U2 song "like the poet needs pain, I need your love".

The tortured poet - it's something of a cliche but I do wonder if it's true. I've written some of my best poetry while in tremendous pain.

I have a problem with this!!! To be a poet would be to subject myself to a torturous life. I don't know if I can handle it! Admin / Data Entry is torturous enough.

My aim in life is not necessarily to have a job that I love, but at the very lease to have a job that I DON'T HATE. That would be nice. (I'm not quite there yet.)

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Sunday, 1 July

***

Happy New Financial Year!

Now, change the topic before I get tetchy. It's not my favourite subject.

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DAILY RATINGS:

***** Oh my God! Can such a day as this ever happen again?
**** I'm so happy I could,...
*** 3 stars, slightly above half way, you figure it out.
** Ho-Hum.
* Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

DESTINATION DICTIONARY:

BTW = By the way
DH = Darling Husband
Intro par = Introductory Paragraph
PCOS = Polycystic Ovary Syndrome
Sarnie = Sandwich